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Friday, October 9, 2020

Difficult Conversations through Effective Feedback

One of my neighbors was a virologist and was working through a difficult time! While most people were home due to the COVID-19 restrictions, this neighbor was working at the lab for almost 7 days a week and more than 12-15 hours a day! She was supporting the COVID-19 team in looking at several ways to come up with a cure!  Occasionally, I even drove this person to the workplace and supported in other capacities like buying groceries, etc. With time, however, the exertion and fatigue rubbed on the neighbor and the neighbor was finding work-life balance difficult. There was even frustration of not being able to find the cure as fast as possible! 

Now, I have written articles on feedback that it should be FACT driven (Rajagopalan, 2019) and the guidelines for giving and receiving feedback (Rajagopalan, 2020). When emotions were high and people were tirelessly working towards something as important and impactful as this COVID-19 cure, I found it difficult to motivate the neighbor. I wanted to appreciate my neighbor for the commitment to the profession and not get frustrated at failure. Although I feel that failure is not final, I found it challenging to find the right word choices. 

The following captures some of my thoughts for anyone who may be in the same predicament. Please keep in mind that these are just guidelines. However, we must remember to discuss the impact of the things we notice and the focus on behaviors we would like the individual or team to emulate. Subsequently, we should summarize the discussion to converge on working agreements for continuous improvement. I used this approach with my neighbor complimenting the contributions at a significant event in human history and that connecting with the emotions expressing frustration is fine. I found that it gave me a framework for giving feedback (of course after patiently engaging in active listening). 

PhraseIndividualTeam
I likedList 1-2 the positive result of the behaviorList 1-2 impacts on the overarching team objectives
I didn't likeList what was unacceptable and discuss on the impact and lack of personal influenceDiscuss the impact of how the behavior contributes to an adverse team environment
Do more ofAppreciate the behavior and discuss its positive contributionDiscuss the impact of positive leadership and how we could promote such behaviors with all team members
Do less ofDiscuss how the behavior is not productive and contributes to waste (muda), unevenness (mura) and overburden (muri)Discuss unproductive contribution and how we can brainstorm ideas for addressing waste, unevenness, and overburden

Do you think this framework is good? Would you see something added, removed, or modified? Please share your thoughts.

References

Rajagopalan, S. (2019). Feedback should be FACT driven. https://agilesriram.blogspot.com/2019/03/feedback-should-be-fact-driven.html

Rajagopalan, S. (2020, May). Giving and Receiving Feedback. https://agilesriram.blogspot.com/2020/05/giving-and-receiving-feedback.html

1 comment:

Admirer said...

Thank you for sharing your experience. The pandemic was a challenging time in our history. Nice that you were able to lend a listening ear to someone professionally. People with emotions often need to drain such energy. Demonstrating your weakness with word choices only make you a human as much as the neighbor feeling overwhelmed. I like this simple guidelines and I am sure I can use this structure. One thing that I always struggle is the difference between like and love! One day I hope to see your blog on that.